Tuesday, March 8, 2011
No such thing as predictability in the military!
First off I would like to appologize but my "30 day challenge" will have to go on hold for a while. I just found out that my hubby will be deploying. Now I obviously can't give you all any specific details. Between his training and the deployment he will be gone for almost 10 months :( and this all starts in just a couple weeks. Now I know many of you have dealt with this before but I haven't. ok that's a lie my sister has deployed twice but that was different. This is my husband, the father of my baby. Which by the way we had been talking about having another one guess that will have to wait a while. The three years we have been together I have been lucky to only be separated for short periods. The longest was only 6 weeks. Anyone with advice please share because I feel like my mind has been over loaded and I don't know where to start. I knew this would happen eventually but wasn't expecting it so soon and with so little notice. He is going to miss our kids birthdays and Christmas. Our daughter isn't even two yet how will she feel when daddy is gone? How do I tell her? My son is eight and he understands. Not to mention we have only lived here for a couple months and I don't even know where everything is. That's it for now thanks for listening to me vent!
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6 comments:
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ooohhhh, I'm sorry, I have no advice, but I wanted to let you know I'm so sorry...
my sister's hubs is in the navy and I know how hard it is for her, especially during the holidays...but I always tell her-remember, in the grand scheme of life 10 months isn't *so* long.
I know, I know, it probably doesn't help...
hugs!!!!
I'm sorry! I don't really have any advice for you because I haven't been through a deployment with my husband yet, but we've been separated for several months at a time. All I can really say is enjoy your time before he deploys and while he is deployed stay busy!
Pieces of advice I have received from other milwives is to volunteer and get involved in maybe the FRG (which maybe isn't the best thing lol) or "coffees" (now this is from an Army perspective - I'm not quite sure about Marine life but I'm sure there is something similar). make care packages! there are a lot of nifty ideas you can find on the web. to involve your kids in that, have them draw pictures or make things for daddy to send to him. Household 6 Diva had this really cool idea of making "daddy deployment craft boxes" (http://www.household6diva.com/2011/02/daddy-deployment-craft-boxes.html) - I know your youngest isn't even 2 years old yet so I'm not really sure how to deal with that, sorry! (no kids yet!)
sending positive thoughts your way and praying for your husband as he gets ready to deploy and praying for his safe return. may the time pass quickly for you and your family!
My husband just got home from a 7 month deployment, and like you, we only had a few weeks notice. The best advice I can give you is to BREATHE! It will be okay. After the first few weeks, the time really goes by quickly, and you seem to have your hands full with the kids which will help.
My husband missed almost all of my pregnancy (I found out right after he left that we were expecting and was 30 weeks along when he got home), he missed all the major holidays last year, and my birthday, which was really hard, I won't lie, but it's only one day, and we celebrated all of the holidays he missed when he got home.
So just remember to breathe and to cry when you need to, and if you need to talk, let me know!
I don't really have much advice because my husband hasn't deployed. A friend of mine and I were going to be deployment buddies because our husbands were going to be gone at the same time. (Our husbands are friends.) Anyway, her husband deployed and mine didn't, but we still email all time and she can vent to me and bounce questions ideas off me. It has worked out really well.
Oh no! I don't have personal experience but both my sister and her husband are in the Navy. They both try to stay active and tend to get really involved with their daughter when the other is gone. They say it helps pass the time but I'm sure it still feels like forever.
Your daughter probably won't understand why her dad is not home but all your children will feel the seperation. My only piece of advise (for what it's worth) is allow yourself to feel any emotions you have, allow your children to feel any emotions they have, and talk about them as a family. Let your kids know it's ok to be sad, angry, worried, etc. and help them work it. Try to keep life as "normal" as possible. Good Luck.
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