Friday, February 4, 2011

The ups and downs of life

   Today I want to talk about my stepson A.J. He is nine years old and has asperger's (high functioning autism) This may be a bunch of rambling but that's what I need so here it is. I love both of my step kids so much. But A.J. has an extra little piece of my heart that no one else ever will. When my husband and I got married A.J. and his sister lived with us because their mom was making some really bad choices. From the day I met A.J. we had a bond that I can't explain. He walked up behind me gave me a hug and walked away. I remember looking at Aaron (my now husband) and he was almost in tears. I asked him what was wrong and he said "my son doesn't do that he doesn't hug people on his own) That was the first time A.J. hugged someone with out being told to. And I remember feeling great that it was me and sad that it wasn't Aaron. That year A.J. was in kindergarten and was doing horribly. So we mad the decision that I should stop working and stay home with the kids once the school year was over. I Spent that whole summer working with A.J. and we had some really bad days but the outcome was awesome. He learned to READ :) along with a ton of other things. That summer did come with a price though. My son and my stepdaughter lost out on a lot of my time.
    That first hug was exactly three years ago this month and part of me wishes we could go back to those days. A.J. and his sister now live with their mom. And since then I have seen A.J. go from this boy who was starting to make great strides to a boy who is brain washed by his mother. Who hates me and my children. Who instead of trying his best just uses his disability as an excuse. I miss the little boy who wanted to hug me. Who enjoyed being with me . Now it feels more like he hates me. Although I still have faith because what would we be without faith.
    So if you all don't hear me talk about my step kids often this is why. I love them and always will but I would rather have good things to write rather than the crazy stuff that nobody would ever believe.
Don't mind the crazy pic he had pink eye when it was taken!

1 comment:

Lindsey said...

My heart truly goes out to you.
It must be so hard to see him change so much, just because of the environment he is in.
I don't know anyone with Asperger's, but my husband's cousin has a high-functioning form of Autism. He never shows much emotion, but at Grandpa's funeral, he started crying. So I know that feeling of amazement and sadness.